Learning Curve
by RedAlert98
Summary: Lesson Number 1: In this world, it's either YEET or get YEETED. Basically, Robin and Wally have self-delegated themselves the task of 'raising' Connor. Humor, Friendship, Shenanigans, Rated T for safety, No slash.
1. Chapter 1

Honestly, there's a pretty big learning curve when you're a clone. There are some things Cadmus scientists and geneticists just can't program or replicate. Such as 'good and bad influences', advice, valuable misunderstandings, world and life views, analogies….friends….

Friends who, apparently, have decided to delegate themselves the task of 'raising' Connor. Aka, Robin and Wally.

…

Robin had been the one to come up with the move. Connor really hadn't seen anything like it before; it seemed pretty unconventional, even for those who hadn't been grown in a pod.

Unconventional, apparently, was the point.

"Nobody would be expecting it! Trust me, it will be effective."

So, again, the clone grabbed onto Robin's hands and swung him around and around in a circle, before releasing him airborne, Robin hurtling through the air and heading towards the target. Their aim _had_ been getting better.

"Remind me again why we are doing this?"

From the sidelines, munching loudly on potato chips, Wally piped up: "Listen Connor, in this world, its either YEET or get YEETED."

…

Eating Robin's cereal, clearly, was a capital offense. No, seriously. It's one thing if you don't know better, cause accidents happen. But Wally…oh, Wally knew better.

Therefore, Robin had been glaring all day. Even with sunglasses on (it still seemed dumb to wear those), Robin somehow managed to glare daggers. After apologizing with exaggeration multiple times and replacing the cereal, Wally had decided to ignore Robin's 'hissy fit', clearly not bothered by it. Must be a regular thing.

"Hey, anyone want some grapes?" The speedster offered to the room.

"Connor, tell him where he can stick his grapes," Robin said in a cool tone.

"In the fridge."

"No, Connor."

…

Idioms, apparently, weren't meant to be taken literally. They actually start to make sense after a while, and many amused explanations of phrases from his teammates.

Connor sighed. Wally and Robin had been bickering for a few minutes now…couldn't he watch his static in peace?

"You tend to make mountains out of mole hills," Wally told Robin, who was slightly irritated.

"What? No I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"When do I ever make mountains out of mole hills?"

Connor was getting better at understanding this idiom thing. He thought back to this morning:

Superhearing had its advantages and disadvantages. The half-kryptonian was getting better at 'tuning' thing out, but still; work in progress. Robin and Wally shared rooms quite often, and every now and again, he'd involuntarily hear stuff that consisted something along the lines of…

"WALLY, IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER TO PUT THE CAP ON THE TOOTHPASTE, HOW ARE WE GONNA RAISE CONNOR?!"

* * *

Anyone get the fight move reference?!

Also, for those of you who thought Connor was hearing something else in the last snippet - getcha heads out of the gutter, lol.

Thanks for all you awesome peeps who've said hi on instagram! My url is redalert98_ for anyone else who wants to give me a shout :)

Chapter 2 coming soon-ish..?


	2. Chapter 2

Allergy season did not spare Atlanteans.

Anyway, moving on.

Modern dance moves were something which evaded Connor's understanding. Seriously; say or do the wrong thing, and suddenly out of nowhere someone is 'hitting that whip' or whatever.

Well, at least he knew he wasn't the only one who was baffled.

All it took was Kaldur sneezing into his elbow.

"LOOK, HE'S FINALLY DABBING!" Wally yelled in excitement, smacking Robin's arm so his friend would look.

"No he's not, he's having allergies," Connor pointed out in his usual monotone.

Kaldur sneezed again:

"Ooohhh Ya, HIT IT KALDUR, HIT IT!" Robin encouraged, high fiving Wally, who continued to cheer.

Connor couldn't help but feel as though human customs still eluded him.

…

It was quite normal to see his teammates occasionally in a 'zombie' or 'dead tired' state. Especially the youngest member of the group, who not only did missions with the team, but also patrolled Gotham regularly on top of all other teenage responsibilities. When asked the difference between Robin's patrols with Batman vs the others and their mentors, Wally simply put: "Look man, there's patrols, then there's _Gotham_ patrols…" followed by a shiver.

Alright then.

One of the most interesting things Connor learned from observing others was that decisions made while sleep deprived are _not always good decisions_. A scenario taken place at around midnight crossed his mind.

"What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?" Robin had dully pondered after staring at his dry bowl of cinnamon toast crunch for an obscene amount of time.

Taking the coffee pot as he walked by, Wally commented, "What if you don't."

Yeah, definitely the tip of the iceberg.

…

This was a bad idea.

Connor had a feeling Artemis knew this when she suggested it. As things had progressively escalated, he also had a feeling she was enjoying this too much.

"You're a lying, cheating piece of crap! You're not the person I agreed to raise Connor with!" Wally was yelling at his best friend, fuming.

"Fine then!" Robin shouted back, also fuming. "We're getting a divorce!"

After exchanging a look with Kaldur, Connor pushed the Monopoly board away from them.

"Maybe we should stop playing."

* * *

Now I have to go write a random one-shot solely because my story count being at '59' is annoying me to death.

...my kitty is giving me cuddles *heart eyes*

Hit me up on instagram!: redalert98_

:D


	3. Chapter 3

When Connor first met Kaldur, Wally and Robin, he'd told them that he could read, write, and knows the names of things. Obviously it was a pretty concise summary of his abilities. Counting, for example was another thing he could do. Clearly he was not the only one.

The team was split up, the mind link was down, their only exit blocked, and Connor's shirt was toast 20 minutes ago. He'd been paired with Robin to watch his back while the hacker got into the system, but hey, you know what they say about the best laid plans. Connor actually didn't know what they say, but he heard Wally use that phrase one time.

"Alright," Robin's voice was low and even with no detectable signs of panic. Surprisingly, this helped Connor's nerves. "I'll take the ones on the right, you take the ones on the left."

"There's three times as many on the left," Connor deadpanned.

"I know," Robin laughed, "I can count."

Sure, the clone was mostly invincible, but he'd already been in a bad mood for 20 minutes now and this wasn't helping.

"Just don't lose the pants," the hacker grinned, offering a last piece of advice before disappearing into a mess of noise and gunfire.

* * *

"So what was the high of everybody's day?" Dinah had asked the team, upon taking over as her shift as den mother.

"Oh!" Wally piped up, raising his hand, "I ate McDonald's today!"

"O..kay…anyone else?"

The six teens weren't even talking on the mind link, they really were just quiet. A bit tired. Definitely not in the mood for a 'casual group sharing session'.

"So..what was the low?"

When nobody else felt like sharing, Robin said,"I ate McDonald's today."

Yeah, Connor had to agree with that one. Earlier he had been dragged to the McDonalds with Wally and Robin. Long story short, they ordered him a Happy Meal. When asked if they wanted a boy toy, one of them had said, "Nah, we already got one of those," which cued muffled laughter.

So Connor had ended up with a Hello Kitty keychain and a mental note to Google 'boy toy'. He was pretty sure something there had 'gone over his head' so to speak.

* * *

Robin and Wally were arguing. Again.

This one definitely seemed like the dumbest fight yet, though. Seriously, even if he wasn't aware of this topic (which is nowhere as big of a deal and they were making it seem), he could just Google it. Connor really liked Google.

"Well someone has to tell Connor about the birds and the bees!" Wally insisted.

"Why is that MY job?!"

"Cause of the thing with the lady and the building with the bomb and everything, you've like, seen stuff!"

"That's ridiculous! And besides, Cadmus probably put a bunch of information in his brain about it already!"

Connor had never seen Robin so defensive before.

"Connor!" Wally called his attention, "What do you know about the 'birds and the bees'?!"

"They're disappearing at an alarming rate."

* * *

Anyone catch the reference to 'Robin on the News'? It will make more sense if you read it, with the whole 'lady in the building with the bomb and everything', lmao.

Thanks to everybody who's leaving comments and showing their love on here, and instagram! Its cool to be able to reach out beyond this website. Might do a live video one of these days - my url is redalert98_ for anyone who's curious :)

Thoughts on Jason Momoa's beard, or lack thereof? XD


	4. Chapter 4

The other day, Connor heard someone on TV say 'Chivalry is dead', and wasn't quite sure about his full grasp on the concept but didn't quite understand why it was dead either.

...

"I'm cold."

Robin had no problem complaining, as it was Wally's fault that he was cold. And probably would get sick. Possibly get pneumonia. Is it really that hard to find out the correct store hours?

"Here, take my jacket," Wally said, taking it off and wrapping it around his small grumpy friend.

"Well we're all cold too," Artemis pointed out, annoyed as per usual. It was another 10 minutes until the store opened, and the wind was freaking freezing.

"Well damn Artemis, I can't control the weather!"

Kaldur took his jacket off for Artemis, and when she began to refuse, he insisted; "I am used to cold temperatures in the ocean's depths; it is fine."

Following his friend's example, Connor hurriedly took off his own jacket and wrapped it around M'gann, who smiled gratefully.

"Half Kryptonian - I'm fine," he responded when she asked if he was sure.

"Aren't you cold, Wally?" M'gann added,

"Nah sweet cheeks, I'm a speedster. We're always hot."

"Hell yeah you are," Robin said, laughing as Wally winked and requested a high five.

Anyway. Who said Chivalry was dead?

* * *

"This is stupid," a statement which was repeated for what seemed like the twentieth time by a certain blonde archer.

"Like we didn't hear you the first nineteen times," Robin grumbled under his breath.

"Aren't we done yet?"

"Artemis, it's Team Building Day," Wally offered, enjoying her misery just a bit; "Would you quit complaining?!"

"Black Canary did say it is mandatory," Kaldur reminded.

"She's been complaining all day, what makes you think she's going to stop now?" Wally continued, readjusting the bandana he was wearing around his head.

"At least it's better than Simon Says!" M'gann interjected, trying to shed some positivity on the situation. Despite their best efforts, most everyone had sucked at that game.

"Well you all have a problem following instructions, am I wrong?" Robin said, smirking as he started helping Wally with the bandana.

"Pot, Kettle. Have you met?" The speedster asked, mentally tallying the best examples of Robin disobeying Batman so they could be brought up later.

"Still, this is stupid." Artemis felt necessary to repeat. Again.

"Does the League ever do this stuff?" Connor inquired, genuinely curious.

"Why don't you ask them; alright everyone ready?" Robin responded, giving one last tug to the knot on Wally's bandana.

So far the team had done trust exercises, an escape room, Simon Says, 3 Truths and a Lie, and half a dozen other team bonding activities. Some things had turned out to be kinda fun, but nobody was going to admit that.

Anyway, apparently it was time for Follow the Leader. Everyone had been taking turns being the leader of different activities, creating some interesting results.

"So what, now we're just supposed to do anything Robin does?" Artemis asked incredulously, "What if he jumps off a cliff?"

"If Robin were to jump off a cliff, he'd have done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry." Wally countered, "So, yes, if you see Robin jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff."

*A couple weeks later at school*

"Connor, it's very important that you be able to think and make decisions for yourself. Would you follow if one of your friends was to, well, jump off a cliff or something?"

"It depends."

"I'm sorry, it depends? On what?"

"Who's jumping."

* * *

Connor enjoyed learning about space, the solar system, aliens…. half of his DNA was alien, after all. He knew a lot from his Cadmus programming, but still managed to gain a lot from the classroom setting too. Sometimes it was nice to know that his friends shared this passion as well.

...

"Hey Wally, is Robin okay?" M'gann asked, a little concerned.

"Yeah, why?" Wally plopped down on the opposite side of the couch that Connor was on.

"He won't come out of his room."

"It's fine," Wally placated, munching on the bag of Cheese puffs he brought with him.

"Weren't you in there a few minutes ago?"

"Yeah," The speedster offered Connor the bag, who refused.

"Can you go get him?"

"Uh, nope." Wally gave Connor the bag anyway, miming with hand motions.

"Please? I need him to come out here, I have a surprise for the team but need everyone here."

"Just knock on his door and tell him I said something." Acknowledging the mimed request, Connor threw a Cheese puff at Wally, who caught it with his mouth. Connor sighed.

"Like what?" M'gann asked.

"Anything factually incorrect."

*Two minutes later*

"Did you just say the sun is an effing planet?!"

* * *

I am sick D:

Hence the time to write this chapter, yay! lol


End file.
